All of my kids are quite verbal—(I have no idea how they got that way)—so on any given day, one of them is bound to say something “quoteworthy”. But lately it’s my middle child who’s been taking the cake in the Funny Quote Contest, so I thought I’d share some of his recent best.
Be forewarned that bathroom humor is to follow. Actually, his best quote from the last couple of months is unprintable. And really it requires hand motions anyway.
Here’s some I can share with you:
“Mom, a long time ago, when the captain pirates were first teaching the regular guys how to be pirates, did they use minivans?”
..............................[While passing gas on the toilet:]“Mom, come listen to this. Do you here all those gas bubbles? It’s like they’re all talking to each other. Except we speak English, and they speak Toot.”
.............................."Mom, when can you sign me up for Utah?"
"Why do you ask honey? What’s in Utah?"
"There’s lots of little dogs that eat things there. Jackson goes there. It’s a city. You mostly take a motorcycle or a helicopter to get there, because it’s far away. It takes a long time, because it’s another country."
............................."Dad, I told Theresa at school that when I stare at her, my eyes turn into hearts."
He also recently asked if he could grow his hair long,
because he wants to be a rock star
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