The Complexities In Becoming A White Ally

A few more thoughts on becoming a white ally...

Last August the blog This Week in Race posted an excellent article entitled, “Beyond White Guilt: The Role of Allies in the Struggle for Racial Equality.” Here are some quotes from that article:

“…The burden to dismantle an unjust system falls on all of our shoulders. Whites and people of color, however, must bear that burden differently while we bear it together precisely because of the ways in which racism has affected us differently as it has affected us together…

…Allies are important to social movements, but they find themselves in a complicated position in a number of ways. They are at once needed because they have disproportionate (though almost never absolute) access to the power structure that, by definition, those who are out of the privileged group do not have. On the other hand, as members of the privileged group, they must always be aware that no matter how well intended, they do not have the lived experience of someone who is in a disadvantaged group, and exerting their perspective can be (or can be perceived as) a further act of oppression, symbolic of the larger issue. In this sense, there is a very real irony present in these relationships.”

Sometimes I feel a bit paralyzed in my effort to become less racist in my own life—as well as fighting racism in the larger culture—because inevitably, I will say or do something racist in my attempt to engage in the struggle. (Yea, even, in writing about race on this blog.) But doing nothing seems worse to me. I pray that as I try to move this cause forward, my heart will always remain humble and willing to be corrected.

For those of you white folk joining me in me in this quest, I encourage you to read the entire “Beyond White Guilt” article. I’d love to know your thoughts on it.

What Does It Mean To Be A White Ally?

White Allies (def.): Those members of the dominant culture (in the United States), who actively resist the role of the oppressor, and who act as allies of people of color. (Wikipedia)

As a white American, have you ever wondered what you can do to fight racism in our country? Maybe like me you have been moved to the point of discomfort and even anger at the racism not only in your own heart, but also the systemic racism in our culture? Have you ever thought, It’s not enough to just stop acting overtly racist…I want to do something positive to change the current situation?

In my own journey toward becoming a white ally—I still have a long way to go—I found an article entitled “Checklist for Allies Against Racism” by Dr. John Raible very helpful. I am particularly challenged by Part 2: “Problem Areas Where Some Individuals Get Stuck.”

I hope you find Raible’s article helpful too. In my next post I’ll write a little more about some of the complexities in becoming a successful white ally.

Bad Hair Days

I’m beginning to get a complex.

A couple of weeks ago, my 4-year-old daughter requested to have her hair cut just like her friend Bailey from pre-school. I hesitated because E has this luxurious, thick, dark, wavy hair, and I had always kept it pretty long.

But she insisted. So I gave it a go. The result was this cute bob:



I thought she looked adorable. But when she saw herself in the mirror she wailed, “It doesn’t look like Bailey’s hair! It looks like YOURS! Waaaaaah!”

The story gets better.

Today E brought one of her dolls in and said, “Look Mom…this doll has hair just like yours!”

Here’s a picture of the doll:



Maybe it’s time for me to get a new look?

I Am The Bread Of Life

I am the bread of life, all who
Come to me and take part
Will taste the food that satisfies
The longings of the heart.

Draw near, my daughter, rest your head
Secure upon my chest.
Stay close to me and feel the warmth
And comfort of my rest.

This is my body, take and eat
The bread come from above;
Savor me, remember I was
Broken for you, for love.

Do not labor for food that spoils
Nor work for what decays;
Receive the bread I offer you,
Which lasts through life always.

Copyright 2010 © InfiniteQueso

MIXTAPE: I Can't Stand The Rain

It’s raining in Texas. Again.



I Can't Stand The Rain

1. MLK – U2
2. I Can’t Stand The Rain – Eruption
3. Walk Between The Raindrops – Donald Fagen
4. Desert Rose – Sting
5. Waiting For The Rain To Fall – Chris Isaak
6. Stormy Weather – Etta James
7. Fire And Rain – James Taylor
8. Waterfront – Simple Minds
9. I Think It’s Going To Rain Today – Peter Gabriel
10. Rain – Patty Griffin
11. Rainy Days And Mondays – The Carpenters
12. Ain’t No Sunshine – Bill Withers
13. Umbrella – Rihanna
14. Shadows In The Rain – The Police
15. Rainy Day – Coldplay
16. Hold Back The Rain – Duran Duran
17. Rain In The Summertime – The Alarm
18. Purple Rain – Prince

I always ask my husband for song suggestions when I compile a mixtape. We have a running joke that he can find a way to make “The Rain” by Oran Juice Jones fit any theme I throw at him. So it was pretty much a lock that it would work this time! However I couldn’t quite bring myself to include it in the official mix. If you’ve never experienced this awesomely bad song from the 80’s, you’ve been missing out.

Also…I desperately wanted to conclude this mixtape with John Cusack’s “This rain on my car is a baptism” clip from Say Anything. It contains one of the greatest quotes in all of cinema: “I gave her my heart…she gave me a pen.” I often use “shegavemeapen” as my username online. Alas, I couldn’t find a link for the scene.

Selected Commentary:
I Can’t Stand The Rain – If I was cooler, I would prefer Amy Peebles’ original version—once called “the greatest record ever” by John Lennon. But I just l dig this cover by Eruption. (See "Top 10 Songs I Loved To Sing In Front Of The Mirror With A Hairbrush Microphone When I Was Growing Up.") Plus iTunes just made the 12” available for download. Woot!
I Think It’s Going To Rain Today – I’m really high on Peter Gabriel’s brand new cover.
Shadows In The Rain - But I'm so confident I'm sane.
Rain In The Summertime – This song hasn’t really aged well. But it always reminds me of the summer of ’89—probably the most important summer of my life, spent in Daytona Beach, Florida.
Purple Rain = Best Soundtrack Ever + Worst Movie Ever

What’s your favorite song about the rain?

This mixtape will be available on iTunes for one year from today. Click here to access it.

To check out my other mixtapes, click here.

Ode On A Cadbury Creme Egg

Thou still unravish’d orb of ambrosia!
Thou creation of England and Easter
Heavenly confection, who canst thus express
An epicurean’s tale more sweetly than our rhyme:
What foil-wrapped goodness haunts about thy shape?

For seeming only of milky chocolate, and yet
Within lies such velvety nectar never matched.
Unheard melodies may be sweetest, and yet
Not so the edible ellipsoid not gorged upon
But once daily during the appointed season!

And though thou creator dost reduce thy girth
Hence by four grams, as many years ago,
We do still remain faithfully pledged to thee only
For all eternity, for whom shall ever appear
So fair to our beholden eyes, themselves formed after you?

When old age shall this generation waste,
Thou shalt remain, in midst of another vernal equinox
Than ours, a friend to man, to whom thou sayst,
“Beauty is chocolate, chocolate beauty,” that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.



Copyright 2010 © InfiniteQueso

What Is The Cost Of 'Cost Of Disciplehip?' Free!

"When Christ calls a man, he bid him come and die."
—Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship

If you enjoy listening to Christian books, you’ll want to check out ChristianAudio.com.

Every month, they offer at least one free book download. This month they are offering two: The Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, and Fifty Reasons Why Jesus Came to Die by John Piper.

Just go to their site, create an account, then input the promo code of the month.If you sign up for their e-newsletter, ChristianAudio.com will send you an email at the first of each month letting you know what that month’s free audiobook is, along with the appropriate promo code. In the past, I’ve downloaded Francis Chan’s Crazy Love and Dante’s Divine Comedy.

Enjoy!

Queso Quote: It Will Not Always Be So

“We do not want merely to see beauty, though, God knows, even that is bounty enough. We want something else which can hardly be put into words—to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it...At present we are on the outside of the world, the wrong side of the door. We discern the freshness and purity of morning, but they do not make us fresh and pure. We cannot mingle with the splendours we see. But all the leaves of the New Testament are rustling with the rumour that it will not always be so. Some day, God willing, we shall get in.”

—C.S. Lewis

For Your Consideration: Why "UP" Should Win Best Picture

Let me confess at the beginning: I seen neither “Avatar” nor “The Hurt Locker”, the two movies considered front-runners in the Oscar race.

And I probably won’t see them. As a mother of three small children, I don’t get out much. I’m very selective about which movies I’m willing to invest my precious time in. That being said, I’m going to share my opinions anyway...

Why “Avatar” shouldn’t win:
It’s probably a crime that, as a former film major, I won’t see “Avatar” in 3-D at a movie theater. I’m tempted by all the reports—from friends and critics alike—about the astonishing visuals of Cameron’s motion-capture cinematography. But the story? It sounds about as subtle as “Dances With Wolves.” I didn’t like that movie, either. Give “Avatar” all the technical awards in the world. Maybe even bestow James Cameron with the Best Director trophy for the ability to pull off his expansive vision. But to win Best Picture, a movie needs not only to look good, but also feature nuanced plot and characters.

Why “The Hurt Locker” shouldn’t win:
Never mind that U.S. soldiers report unfathomable inaccuracies in Katherine Bigelow’s war drama. “Hurt Locker” has only grossed $13 million domestically. There’s just no way a movie this unpopular should win Best Picture. Evidently Jeremy Renner delivers a stunning performance as the leader of a U.S. Army Explosive Ordnance Disposal unit. If only he could have prevented his own movie from being such a box office bomb. To win Best Picture, a movie should be both artistic and accessible.

Why “UP” should win:

• The stunning visuals. So they may not be “Avatar” amazing. But the shot of the house of balloons initially taking lift alone is worth your ticket price.


• It’s full of rich, complex characters.


• One character is an exotic bird mother. Named Kevin.


• It’s fall-down funny. Yet it requires multiple viewings to catch all the subtle humor.


• It honors the aged, and carries the message that sometimes our greatest moments come in life’s third act.


• It reminds you what it’s like to be a child—full of fancy, yet full of fear.


• It has unexpected plot twists and hold-the-sides-of-your-chair moments of suspense. And it doesn’t end how you think it might.


• The fabulous score.


• It portrays the most tender, passionate, pure, heart-wrenching, and yet convincing romantic relationship between a man and woman—from childhood through death and beyond—from any movie in recent memory. In under five minutes. With no dialog. I dare you not to cry when you watch the sequence.


• It was the best-reviewed movie of 2009 on Rotten Tomatoes, with a rating of 98%.

Have I convinced anyone yet?

What Arianna Huffington Might Have To Say About Building Spiritual Movements

Michael Hyatt recently blogged about his experience at last month's O’Reilly Tools of Change for Publishing Conference. A highlight for Hyatt was Arianna Huffington’s keynote address, entitled, “Publishing is Dead; Long Live Publishing!”

I admire Huffington’s leadership in creating the amazing vortex of information, opinion, and celebrity that is The Huffington Post, one of the world’s most popular and dynamic websites. So when Hyatt mentioned her speech was posted on YouTube, I took the opportunity to listen to it.

Although she spoke in the context of book publishing, I found many things she said quite applicable in the context I work in: Building spiritual movements among college students.

My favorite quotes:

• “The more we try to go back to the Golden Age of publishing that doesn’t exist, the more we miss the Golden Age that does exist right now—the Golden Age of Engagement.”
  
• “Often book reviews are conversation-enders. What people want is conversation-starters.”
  
• “Self-expression is now more important than ever. Self-expression is the new entertainment. This is why millions of people blog."
  
• “People want to be part of the times we are living in. They want to be heard. We need to celebrate that moment rather than question it.”

To listen to Huffington’s address yourself, click here. Her speech is only 10 minutes long, with an additional 7 minutes of Q&A.

Lenten Reflections From Larry Crabb

I am really enjoying a series of Lenten essays from Larry Crabb. Every day I receive an email with an excerpt from his latest book, 66 Love Letters: A Conversation with God That Invites You into His Story. Each “letter” encapsulates one of the 66 books of the Bible, written from God’s perspective. I have found the letters very powerful—they remind me who God is, who I am, and why I’m here on earth.

Here is a quote from last Friday’s letter, based on 1 Samuel:

“I grieve with you over the pain that life causes you. But our priorities differ. You ask what will work to make your life better, to correct the injustice you suffer, to see to it that more things go as they should in your life. I want you to ask what holiness would look like in your situation, whatever it is; holiness that might not right the wrongs you suffer but that would let us enjoy each other.”

If you’d like to join me in this exercise, simply sign up here to begin receiving the daily emails.